In the movie, “”What Dreams May Come”  Robin Williams meets his deceased children in the afterlife.   He doesn’t recognize them at first, because his children have changed their appearance.  It turns out Robin Williams made subtle comments when they were alive, that he never knew they took to heart.  His daughter had taken on the appearance of an Asian woman.  She had heard her father say, he thought Asian women were attractive.  His son was in the form of his best friend and partner,  a man Robin Williams had said he highly respected.    How tragic to find that the most beautiful people you have ever laid eyes on, decided to change their appearance because of something you said!  It made me wonder what I may have said, without thinking, that my children have heard and internalized.

I have joked with Richard, that I think black men are attractive.    But more attractive than the look of my children?  not a chance.  But what do they think?  I have always been careful to focus on their inner beauty and point this out to them .   My mother used to say “pretty is as pretty does”.    Even when people comment on how drop dead gorgeous my children are, I always comment back that they are just as pretty on the inside.

So in case there has ever been a misunderstanding,  let me set the record straight.

I think that my 4 children are the most beautiful of G-d’s creations.  There is nothing I like more than just looking at them.  I never tire of watching them.  And when they turn on the music and start dancing, the beauty is overwhelming. In my wildest imagination I could not have dreamed them up.  I wouldn’t change a single hair on their heads.  ( I used to make sure they were with me when I went to the beauty shop to say, “This is the most beautiful hair, can you give it to me? I want this hair”) Each one is so different, and fabulous.  I catch a glimpse every now and then of my eyes, or Richard’s chin.  That is so thrilling, because it is a reminder that we got to assist G-d with these magnificent creations.  Richard and I have often said, that we are amazed we helped create such beauty.  I have never known 4 people so gorgeous in all of my life.  Breathtaking.

Even with all the bodily fluids I am wiping up with my little ones,  I think they are unbelievable.  It is only a mother, that while cleaning a super duper dirty diaper, says, “what a tush”

I lost my eyesight as a baby, and through a miracle was granted it back.  So many doctors have shaken their heads and said “It defies medicine”.   I grew up wondering what I was supposed to do with this gift.   That miracle changed my life in too many ways to count.  But the ultimate gift of that miracle, was the ability to see my children.  To feast my eyes on beauty beyond imagination.  To know G-d is real and limitless.  And to see with my own eyes, that He allows us to participate in his glory.

So please let my children know that every little piece of them is beautiful.  There is no part of them to change.  G-d made them as close to perfection as I have ever seen.  Let them celebrate their appearance as it is, and not wish for something different.  Because they are my evidence that G-d exists.