I just got through reading a book called “Under Pressure” by Carl Honore.  Richard accuses me of reading books that just back up what I already think.  There is some truth to this.  I do tend to pick books that help validate my way of thinking.  Honore talks about how there is a lot of pressure to push your children to the height of their potential and yet micromanage them at the same time.  I feel that pressure living here on the North Shore of Chicago.  There is a lot of pushing and micromanaging going on.  Most of the time I feel like a complete “loser mom” because my kids each get 1 thing or sport to be involved in at a time, and they get the down time that they ask for.  So it feels reassuring when I read a book that advocates this approach.

Through his search for the “antidote to the the frenzy of keeping up with the Joneses”  Honore found not that.  I like that he did not try to give over the opposite of “hyperparenting”.  Instead, he discovered that there are some basic truths that apply to all children everywhere.  These fundamental truths I agree with 100%.

l.  children need to feel safe and loved

2. children need our time and attention, with no conditions attached

3. children need boundaries and limits

4. children need space to take risks and make mistakes

5. children need to spend time outdoors

6. children need to be ranked and measured less

7. children  need healthy food

8. children need to aspire to something bigger than owning the next brand-name gizmo

9. children need room to be themselves

10.  children come in all shapes and sizes and every family must find the formula that works best for them.

He goes on to say that parents just have to “shut out the background noise and listen more to their instincts.  Parents should aspire to meet their children’s needs most of the time and accept that they will mess up occasionally.  Do a ‘good enough’ job” and our children will be ok.

All this is good to hear amid the crazy current of parent overdrive that I find myself trying to swim in.

We all probably need to put down the “childrearing experts” and back away from the books!  But this one gets an A for what it explores and the conclusions it finds.