One day I would like to continue my career by helping couples prepare to marry.  I often think about what advice or teaching would need to be imparted to those at the front end of that journey.  I came across a wonderful book by John and Stasi Eldredge, called “Love and War”.

John shares the advice he wishes he would have gotten sometime in the weeks leading up to his own wedding.  I think it is so perfect, that I want to post it here:

“I (John) wish some older man had pulled me aside a few weeks before our wedding, and said,

Now listen, son.  You’re a fine young man; Stasi is a wonderful girl.  I think you  two are made for each other.  I’m very excited about this marriage.  But now listen to me, lad–are you paying attention?  You are also, both of you , deeply broken people.  And all that brokenness is going to start coming to the surface as soon as you say, “I do.”  Don’t let this throw you.  It happens to everyone.  It doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong.  But what would be wrong would be to ignore what surfaces.  God is going to use your marriage to get to issues in your life he wants to address.  You’ve got a way of making life work, and you’re going to discover that Stasi does, too.  That’s all going to collide sooner or later.  You might make it a year or two on young love, and thank God for it.  But don’t ignore this stuff when the fairy tale hits the fan.  Get some help.”

I could have used this advice.  I think it is such a relief to hear this, and know it applies to everyone.