Day one

Dear Hannah-

You are getting ready to turn 2 years old, and become a “big sister” yourself.  I wanted to let you know how celebrated your birth was.  It still seems like yesterday that you were born.  Although you were the third baby to be born in this family, you were the first “birth” that I truly experienced.   I gathered courage from the birth of your older sister and brother, and decided to have you “au natural”.   So I felt every little thing about you being born.  It was the most awesome and unbelievable experience I have had so far in my life.  I think I was the most present during your birth and you were definitely the most alert baby I have ever seen at birth.   It was the biggest “high” I have ever felt.  My labor was short, (3 hours), and I was doing so well laboring in a tub of warm water that you were almost born there!   I called you my little Mikvah baby.  This is fitting as you were the first baby born into our family since we began to practice the laws of “Family Purity”.  This is a religious (Jewish) practice between husbands and wifes that goes back thousands and thousands of years.   It includes the mother going to the Mikvah once a month.  When you get a little older we will talk more about that.  You were also the first baby to be born since your mother converted to Judaism.  (Also including a trip to the Mikvah).   Now that I see how you are drawn to water, I know that there is a spiritual aspect to your attraction.  You have no fear of this substance that has such a spiritual significance in your beginning.  You were born from it and almost IN it!   (I will add though, that your lack of fear around water is giving your  Dad and I  a few extra gray hairs)

We continued to celebrate your birth several months later with a “naming ceremony”.  Many of our friends and family came from great distances to celebrate YOU.  It was such a happy occasion at our home.  Now that you are getting ready to give up your spot of “baby” in our family, I thought it would be fitting to go back and remind you how we felt when you came along.  I wanted to share with you the words that I spoke about you on that day.  March 18th, 2007:

Hannah Wyatt Shaffer

When Richard and I first began to wish for children:  We knew that it was possible this blessing would not happen for us.  But we asked anyway.  When we were blessed with Noah, we were quite amazed.  We couldn’t believe that we were given such a wonderful, strong, healthy, child to love.  We had done absolutely nothing to deserve such a blessing.  We were not sure we could ask for more.  It took us four years to work up our courage to ask.  And when we did…….G-d blessed us yet again, with Micah.  We were overjoyed at G-d’s generosity.  We were in awe of this incredible blessing.  We had done nothing to deserve Noah.  And yet, G-d had blessed us with both Noah and Micah.  We assumed we had tested the limits of G-d’s grace. 

When we moved here 4 years ago, I knew not a single soul.  The very first person I met was Amy (Lowenstein).   It was at a PO meeting for first time Schechter parents.  I was late, of course, and the room was packed.  I was terrified and about to turn right back around and go back out the door.  But Amy caught my eye, and made sure I came in and sat down.  Then when Amy introduced herself as a mother of 5 children, I think I almost fell out of my seat.  I was so suprised, that after the meeting I had to ask her, “You mean you really have 5 children?”  As if she had somehow miscounted. 

That was the beginning of an amazing and wonderful experience we have had over the past 4 and a half years getting to know all of you and your wonderful families.  Seeing you all with your children helped plant the beginning of an idea.  Maybe, just maybe WE could ask for more.

But still I was afraid.  Sure, you guys could ask, but I had done nothing worthwhile to earn that right.  G-d had given me more than my share of blessings already.  How could he possibly give me more?

Rabbi Sherbill told a story once about a king with all the riches in the world.  This king had a son that was coming of age and would soon come to his father to ask for his share.  The king was so looking forward to that day.  He had so much to give and could not wait to bestow all this unto his son.  When that day finally arrived, the son approached his father to ask.  The son did not feel worthy and asked for just a nickel.  The father was greatly dissappointed.  He had so much more to give.  Of course, this is a metaphor for our relationship with G-d.  G-d’s blessings are limitless.  And not only can we ask, but it gives G-d great joy when we ask.  And I realized, that there is nothing more valuable in all the world than our children.  They are the greatest riches of all.

So I began to ask.  My prayers were not done exactly right, I am sure.  They were not even in Hebrew.  But they were from such a deep place of longing in my heart.  I prayed so hard sometimes I would cry.  I prayed at every stop light.  I prayed everytime I woke up afraid in the middle of the night.  And when G-d answered yes, I prayed even harder.  I kept thinking about Hannah, mother of the prophet Samuel.  She prayed for a child.  She prayed so hard from deep within her heart that Eli the Kohen thought she was drunk.  Yet, G-d heard her and blessed her. 

When G-d blessed us yet again with this baby girl, you can imagine how great was our joy.  It seemed only fitting that her name become Hannah.  I felt the presence of our foremother Hannah during my pregnancy, helping to guide me through my fears and doubts.  I hope that by naming her Hannah, she will have the deep faith of our foremother to overcome her own doubts and fears.  I hope that she will be able to pray from her heart to reach G-d and find her way.  And I hope that she will be able to ask for her share of blessings. 

Wyatt is Hannah’s middle name.  This is in honor and remembrance of Richard’s Grandmother, Nana.  Nana was really more than Richard’s grandmother and Joan’s mom.  She was leader and counselor to us all.  When I am not sure about how to deal with a situation, I stop and ask myself…..What would Nana have done.  It always becomes crystal clear which direction to take.  Her strength of character and integrity earned her the respect of everyone that knew her.  Her kindness towards others was bottomless.  Many things she had done for others, we did not know until she died.  So many people then came and shared with us the things Nana had done for them.  Many of the things that I cherish about my husband, I know he inherited from her.  I thank her for teaching him how to be such a wonderful leader of our family.  

I wish for all of my children:  her quiet strength, her deep well of kindness, her compass of right and wrong, and her true selflessness. 

Hannah Wyatt Shaffer……….you must always know how much all of us love and adore you.  And although you will not be “the baby” any more.  You will always be “our Hannah”.  You will always have your own special place in this family.

Love Mom